Monday Memoirs-Becoming a follower of Jesus again

Linking up with Royal over @Royal Proclaims for another edition of Monday Memoirs. This time I am taking the serious route, exact opposite of last week! I usually don't get this serious and personal so brace yourself! 

I grew up going to church and I remember the first time I really felt Jesus in my heart as a child. However, this story is more about how I lost my relationship with Jesus and found it again. When I left for college, I completely forgot about any relationship I had with Jesus Christ. I am not sure why it happened but it did. I don't have any regrets about the way I lived my life in college but I do think things would have been easier for me with God in my life. My sophomore year of college, my roomate and best friend Ashley and I had a suitemate who was a strong believer. However, instead of encouraging us to come to church with her, she put us down constantly for the amount of partying we were doing and the fact that both of us were engaging in pre-marital sex with our boyfriends. She pretty much told us both we were going to Hell. The funny thing is 2 years later she ended up pregnant and having a shotgun wedding. SMH. She put a really bad taste in my mouth about religion and I drifted even further away from God after living with her. She did teach me a valuable lesson though because now that I am a believer I always make a conscious effort to not judge others who are not on what I may think is the "right" path.

Anyways, my senior year of college I went through a really bad breakup with my long term boyfriend. I rebounded fairly quickly with an older guy who was a police officer and had been married before and had two young children. When I say young, I mean young! His daughter was 19 months old when we started dating and his son was 3. He was not a good guy. I was very vulnerable after my breakup and jumped into a very serious relationship with him way too soon. The next two and half years of my life were miserable. I endured emotional, verbal and I am ashamed to admit, but physical abuse as well. He was very controlling and I lost a lot of my friends because he wouldn't "let me" hang out with people and because my friends couldn't stand to be around him. I am honestly to this day  not sure why it took me so long to leave the relationship.My family and friends were so worried about me and I really think during those 2 and a half years I lost myself.  My bubby, confident, upbeat personality had withered to a nervous, anxious, insecure girl. The only good part about the relationship were his children, who I became very close with. The weekends that we had his kids, he would usually sit in his chair and play video games, paying no attention to his kids. I became a second mom to them at the young age of 22. It was hard but I loved being a mom to them and I do think they were a big part of why I didn't want to leave the relationship.

One night we had a very bad fight and I won't go into details but he got physical. I went into the living room and was sitting on the couch crying when I noticed a bible that was just sitting there on the compartment under the coffee table. I knew it couldn't have been his because he was not a believer and never had been. I opened it up and printed on the inside cover was "Emilie" who was his ex wife. I opened it and noticed that many verses were highlighted and pages were dog eared. I began to read and my heart was just flooded with emotion. That very night for the first time in years, I prayed. I prayed for God to give me the courage to leave the relationship, I prayed for God to keep me safe, I prayed to God for strength. 9 days later, he put me down.  I don't even remember what he said but it was something mean. I looked at him in the eyes and said "I am not doing this anymore. I don't need you." I think at that moment I realized that all I needed was God in my life. I walked out of the house and called my friend Brittney who had told me whenever I was ready to leave, I could come stay with her and her husband Anthony in their spare room. I don't think she believed that I would come because I had said so many times I was going to leave but this time was different. I left and never came back, except to get my stuff a week later. I know his ex-wife Emilie was a believer and to this day I believe those same verses spoke to her and enabled her to leave the relationship as well. We always got along very well and to this day, we are still friends on Facebook. I have never told her about the bible but someday, I think I will.

The best thing about God is that He always has open arms for you whenever you decide to  come home. He loves you no matter what you have done. I started going back to church and worked on remending relationships with friends I had lost over the years. I became hungry to relearn everything I had forgotten about Him. I read the Bible, asked questions in Sunday School and prayed all the time. I became happy again and most importantly, I became myself again

God has been so faithful to me since I started following Him again. He has blessed me with a Christian husband, a beautiful baby girl, has repaired a relationship with a co-worker that I never dreamed could be fixed, has blessed many "infertile" people in my life with babies, has healed friends and family and so much more. I can't imagine my life without Him in it. He is so good, all the time.  I have many people in my life that are not followers and I am okay with that. I pray for them every night and pray that they will find God. Not because I think that they are  living their life the "wrong" way but because I want their lives to be filled with the wonderful feeling that I have. The power and love of Jesus Christ. :)

5 on Friday!

Happy Friday! Excited as always to be participating in this fabulous linkup!

1. So what did ya'll think of the Bachelor finale?!?! WOW! Here are my thoughts: Juan Pablo=total douchebag, Nikki=totally clueless. I also thought Juan Pablo was incredibly rude on the after show and I am so glad Sean and Catherine spoke up! On a good note, sooooo excited that my Phi Mu sista Andi is the new Bachelorette! Can['t wait to watch!

 2. Kennedy has a new Easter dress! I had been planning on her wearing an adorable yellow smocked dress that I got a consignment sale but then my mom bought her this one! I love the crosses and I think it represents what Easter is really about. She of course will still wear the yellow one at other times but I just love this one too much for her not to wear it on Easter!

 3. Flashback Friday!  Did you have ever have a Myspace account? I did for many years before I FINALLY got a clue and joined Facebook in 2009. This past weekend I went and looked through my old pictures, hilarious! This one was taken on St. Patty's Day in 2006. Pictured in the black top is my sorority sister Catherine and that's Megan in the green top. I have NO CLUE who the girl in the white sweater showing her midriff is...lol. The group of guys in the picture I used to hang out with a lot in college and they were a wild bunch. In fact, only 2 of them have settled down and gotten married. Judging from their Facebook pictures and statuses, not much has changed for the rest of them. Times sure have changed for me and although those were fun times, I am so happy to be where I am now!  I don't even really celebrate St. Patrick's Day anymore! 

 4. I completely forgot to blog about this but the weekend before last, Nick and I had a fun double date night with our good friends Jessica and Adam. Nick and Adam have been best friends since middle school and have grown up in church together. Jessica and I instantly clicked when Nick and I started dating. We went to eat at Outback and then to this little dive bar called "The Backyard Tavern." We played darts and just hung out and talked, very low key. This bar is definately a keeper, perfect for old people like us who just want something low key and fun. Do you have any bars like this in your town?

 5. Kennedy has had a great week! We had some more beautiful weather earlier this week and were able to get outside and play, which she loves! She finally had her 15 month check up on Monday. The shots were not fun as usual but we got a great report from her pediatrician who was very impressed by her vocabulary and how active she is. We ourselves were surprised when she pointed to the fish in the waiting room and began to yell "fish, fish!" Her head is in the 100th percentile (hehe), weight was 95th percentile (she weighs 27 pounds) and height was 90th percentile. Big girl we have here! So weird because Nick and I are both short. She is currently wearing mostly 18 month clothes and a few 24 month things.One of the moms in her class at daycare was commenting on how social Kennedy is. She says everytime she comes to pick up her son, Kennedy is waving and saying hi and then blowing kisses and yelling "bye, bye" when they leave. Love this little girl so much!

So What!

Linking up with Shannon @Life After I Dew for "So What Wednesday" with something that has been weighing heavily on my mind.

So what if the thought of leaving Kennedy longer than 1 night terrifies me and I am so not ready!

 

I have left Kennedy a total of 3 times overnight. One of the times was when I went to Beaufort for my sorority sister Ashlee's wedding and Nick was watching her. We have left her twice with Nick's parents when we have gone to Columbia to visit Kevin and Ashley. I bawled all three times when I left her and the next morning, I couldn't wait to get home to see her. I am still not sure if Megan has forgiven me for waking her up at 7:30 after we didn't get back to our hotel until 1:00 from Ashlee's reception. So the thought of leaving her TWO nights? I just don't know if I can do it! The last time we left her, she was about 10 months old and was old enough to understand we were leaving. She cried, clinged to my shirt and shook her head "no" at my mother in law when she tried to hold her. That was by far the hardest overnight. Even though we had a blast with Ashley and Kevin, I kept thinking about her getting upset and missed her so much. I cried the whole way to Columbia. We haven't left her overnight since.

 

On Saturday, I attended the funeral for my dear friend Brittney's mother Joyce. Brittney and I met in our Early Childhood Education block at USCA. There was a group of about 6 of us that were super close in college but drifted apart after graduation due to work, marriage, babies, life in general. 



 The Early Childhood girls in 2006 at Kristin's baby shower.

 

Before, the funeral we were all standing outside talking about how great it was to see each other but that we hated it had to be under these circumstances. My friend Katie was saying she wanted us to get together more often and not wait until something like this brings us together again. We also all agreed that a girls trip would be great for Brittney to get her mind off things. My friend Stephanie brought up her parents condo in Myrtle Beach. Next thing I know I am looking at a Facebook message suggesting a weekend in May and asking if everyone get together that weekend. I replied that that was the weekend after my 30th birthday (my birthday is on a Monday this year) and  that I wasn't sure of our plans, which is true. However, I think part of me wants to avoid it because I am not ready to leave Kennedy. I know I would have a ton of fun but I am just so scared to be so far away from her.

 

We have also been planning a 5 year wedding anniversary trip with my brother in law and sister in law in 2015. They got married in 2010 as well, just a few months before us so we thought it would be fun to take a big trip together. We have been talking about doing a cruise. I guess I just assumed I would be ready by that time to leave Kennedy but now I am not so sure, especially since I can't even leave her for 2 nights with Nick!

 

Please tell me I am not the only one who feels this way! Have you left your kids overnight for longer than one night? If you have, how did you deal with it?

 

Monday Memoirs- Anniversary of Spring break 2004

Linking up with Royal over @ Royal Proclaims again for another edition of "Monday Memoirs." I am not as good of a storyteller as she is but in honor of the 10th anniversary of a crazy spring break trip I took in college I am going to do my best to recap a funny story. Unfortunately, I admit I am too lazy to go find my box of old pictures from college in the garage so there will not be any picture to accompany this story.

It was spring break 2004  in Daytona Beach. I was a sophomore in college. I think everyone should take a wild spring break trip somewhere during college. Daytona Beach does not disappoint! Me, my boyfriend at the time, Ashley and her boyfriend at the time, Megan, Mary-Beth and Matt all went down together and we all stayed in ONE room. Yep,that's what cheap college kids do. We had heard about this club that was supposed to be awesome so we hopped in a cab and headed up there one night. I don't even remember the name of the club but when we got there, there was a very long line so we knew it had to be good. We get up to the front of the line and the doorman says "50 dollars apiece." "Ummm say what???" Then the doorman procedes to tell us that Vanilla Ice will be performing that night. "Ohhh well why didn't you say so?!?!" We are all 90's kids, Vanilla Ice is worth 50 bucks! Except wait, we don't know any other songs he sings besides "Ice, Ice, Baby." SMH. We pay the money and go inside, more anxious to party than anything else.

After a fun night of drinking and dancing, we are ready to go. Except we can't find Matt, Mary-Beth or Megan. Matt and Mary-Beth had told us they  were going to an after hours club so we figured they had already left but Megan had been dancing with a guy all night and we were worried about her. We searched the club for her but couldn't find her. Called her cell, she didn't answer. We have no other choice but to leave. We get outside and realize between the four of us, we have 12 dollars. Yep, 12 dollars and there is no ATM in sight. Our hotel is about 4 miles down the strip. We start to walk. We get about a half of a mile and  a man with a bicycle with a bench seat on the back goes by. My ex-boyfriend Charlie jokingly yells out "hey can we get a ride?" The man surprisingly pulls over and says "sure." Ashley tells him we only have 12 dollars. He says he will take us as far as he can. Ashley and I sit on Darren and Charlie's laps and this skinny little guy pedals off. Keep in mind, Charlie was about 6 foot, 220 pounds. As we are riding along, cars are honking at us, people are yelling out the window "nice ride" and the four of us are laughing so hard we can barely contain ourselves. It also seemed like every car was playing the Usher song "Yeah" which was like the spring break anthem that year.

We seem like we are riding forever and I keep waiting for him to tell us "okay time up" but he just keeps going. Then he starts sweating BAD and the smell was AWFUL, like the worst BO you can imagine. Ashley and I tell him "thank you so much, I think we can manage the rest of the way." He says "no, no, I still have another mile in me!" Bless his little heart! We politely give him the 12 dollars and hop off. We realize we are only about a mile and a half from our hotel. That skinny dude had pedaled us for over 2 miles! We walk for what seems like forever and finally get to our hotel room exhausted! My cell phone starts ringing and I am so relieved to see it's Megan! She says that she left with the guy she was dancing at the club with but then realized he was a douche so she had him let her out of his car about 2 miles from the hotel. She says she is about to be at the hotel and she will see us soon. I hang up and instantly fall asleep. I wake up to hear this:  "YOU GUYS! WAKE UP! I PEED MY PANTS!" Yep, most people would probably just slip into the hotel room and clean up. Not Megan, it was imperative that we all knew that on her long walk back to the hotel, she had peed her pants. Oh Megan.....

"What happens in Daytona, stays in Daytona!" Not if you are Megan, I can't count how many times she has retold that story! As for Ashley and I, needless to say we always make sure we have enough money for the cab ride there AND BACK!

Megan's Bachelorette Party!

Megan's bachelorette party was a total blast! I am absolutely exhausted today. I didn't take near enough pictures as usual but here are some:

 

 Me and Ash before going into the club. It was FREEZING that night!

 Me and my besties. This picture is now my cover photo on Facebook. Love it!

 The band that played was awesome!

 Megan with her bridal party!

 The college "roomies" again. Ashley and I lived together on campus our sophomore and junior years. Megan was our "unofficial roomie." She lived at home but slept on our couch pretty much every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night so it felt like she was our roommate.

Dancing to "Copperhead Road!"

 

Although I had an awesome time, I definately felt "old." Everyone at the club seemed soooo young, which I guess they were!  It's really starting to sink in that I will be thirty in just a little over 2 months. I felt a little a little out of my element and even though it was just for a night, I missed Nick and Kennedy so much! I hadn't been to a club since before I got pregnant with Kennedy and I don't have any plans to go back unless it's a special occasion like this. At one point, some sketch guys came into our VIP area and bought us a round of shots. They introduced themselves as "Cadilac" and "Mazda." Seriously? Gimme me break! They asked Ashley what her name was and she replied "Toyota" bahahaha. Ash and I were very thankful to be able to  flash our wedding rings and say "sorry we're married" and let the single girls in the group deal with them. Don't miss those days at all. I love my hubby so much and I am so happy for Megan that she has found Brent. Can't wait until March 29th, when she officially becomes Mrs. Anthony!

 

 



5 on Friday

Happy Friday! Here's what's been on my mind this week:

1. Dance Moms! What do you think of Kira and Kalani? I am actually liking them more than I did on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. I really wish Abby would let Kalani go against Maddie. I bet she would win! :) Melissa is by far my least favorite of the moms. So fake!

 2. This week I got something in the mail that really warmed my heart. My grandfather sent a 100 dollar check made out to my chapter of Phi Mu in memory of my Nana who was a Phi Mu at Duke. In the memo line it said "in memory of Carol Walker Garvin, Duke class of 55'." *TEAR* He also wrote a note saying how proud my Nana would have been of me for continuing to be active in Phi Mu.  She died in 2007, so she was alive when I joined Phi Mu but didn't live to see me become an advisor. My mom bought her a Phi Mu sweatshirt for her to wear when she went through her chemo treatments and I know somewhere we have a picture of her wearing it, wish I could find it! 

3. Our niece Lexie turned 10 this week! She has grown up so fast! She was 5 when Nick and I first started dating. She has grown up into such an smart, beautiful young girl and Kennedy LOVES her, as do we! Happy Birthday Lexie!

 Thanksgiving 2009

 Thanksgiving 2013

4. Sadly this week my friend Brittney's mother Joyce passed away. It had been ten weeks since her brain aneurism. At first they were optimistic that she would recover but in recent weeks, the doctors told Brittney, her dad and her brother Jason that unfortunately her brain had suffered too much to recover so they made the difficult decision to remove her from life support. This is the second friend I have had who has lost a parent. My best friend Ashley's dad Johnny passed away in 2011 due to pancreatic cancer. I feel like we aren't old enough to be losing parents and my heart just aches for them. It's so hard to know what to say. Praying for peace and comfort for her and her family.

5. As always I will leave you with Kennedy, my FIFTEEN month old. 15 months just sounds so old! Unfortunately we are home today due to an ear infection, her second one since January, ugh. I hope this is not going to become a trend. I hate seeing her so miserable. On a good note, new words this week are "this" "that" and "shoe." She is also turning into quite the little helper. If my phone goes off when I get a text message, she will go get my phone from the coffee table and bring it to me. Every morning I say "Kennedy, go get your shoes" or "Kennedy, go get your coat" and she will bring them to me. Such a big girl! She also loves to turn light switches on and off and put dirty clothes into the hamper. I will leave you with some pictures of our little princess! Have a great weekend!

Monday Memoirs-My Bachelorette Party

 Linking up with Royal again for Monday Memoirs! This has quickly become one of my favorite linkups because I love to look back at memories! So much fun! I hope some of you will join us in this fabulous linkup.

I am getting super excited for my best friend Megan's bachelorette party on Friday so I though we would take a trip down memory lane to my bachelorette party back in 2010. It was one fun night!

 The night started off with me being crowned "the bachelorette." We headed out in our own private limo. I absolutely love the picture below and have it framed in my house.This is me with four of my bridesmaids, Sara, Candice, Ashley and Megan. Missing are my bridesmaids Molly and Brittany because they live in Oregon, my sister because she was underage at the time.

 We had almost as much fun in the limo as we did at the club we went to. I enjoyed yelling out the window  "I am getting married!" and "it's my bachelorette, woo-hoo!"

We had a private VIP area at the club we went to.  I wish I had more pictures from that night but everyone was having so much dancing that we didn't take a lot of pictures. My favorite song that we danced to was Enrique Igelisias "I like it." We were all obsessed with Jersey Shore at the time so we were doing our best fist pump moves and "breaking down the beat." My college friends Mary Beth and Matt came by for awhile. It was great to see them!

 The funniest memory from the night was this dude. His bachelor party was in the VIP area next to us. Get this, he was getting married THE NEXT DAY AT 12:00!  Apparently they had a lot of out of town people in the wedding party so they felt they had to do the bachelor/bachelorette parties the night before the wedding. I often to this day wonder if he made it to his wedding. He was absolutely HAMMERED and kept waving around this pair of panties, not sure where they came from and honestly I didn't want to know. Bless his fiance's little heart.....

 It was such a fun night! I am so excited for Megan's bachelorette although a little nervous because I know for a fact I can't hang like I used to. Recovery will probably be brutal. I also realized this will probably be my last big night out in my 20's because I will be 30 in May!

Passing the bachelorette crown to Megan! Here's to Megan's bachelorette party!